I hate Ingeus.
I suffer with panic attacks and anxiety and since going to Ingeus I have regressed so much.
I'm depressed for the first time in months (I had battled my way through it only to be pushed back in by Ingeus) I even had self-harming thoughts, I'm having anxiety and panic attacks more often now and I feel worthless.
I'm adamant that this is the doing of that hell-hole.
My adviser doesn't give two hoots about me. She made out she was there to help and my naivety made me believe her until she threw all of my prospects back in my face. She told me she'd help me become self-employed, got me to fill out a business plan and really made me believe I had a good business idea and then told me none of it was realistic and told me I'd need a job, that self-employment for me isn't a realistic option.
She knows that I have poor mental health (anxiety, depression, panic, stress) but seems completely uncaring. I've tried to tell her that it's difficult for me to go out and approach employers or phone them because I suffer with anxiety and panic but she ignores me.
Now apparently my efforts are not enough and she wants me to apply for a minimum of 15 jobs a week.
I see her on a weekly basis and I hate it, 15 jobs is not realistic! I struggled to apply for 2 this week and I felt that was a good effort. I feel so pushed down and undervalued.
Honestly, I'm considering just telling the job centre they can stuff their benefits because the thought of going back into that Ingeus office makes me feel physically ill, it genuinely upsets me and I cannot stand the thought of being their puppet any longer. I just want rid of Ingeus and it's claws.
I feel so trapped, this is a 2 year plan... If I sign off, will that mean I'm free of Ingeus too?
I'd rather struggle and have no money than be miserable like this.