It sounds as if the money was available, but you left it in the executor's account until you were ready to buy your house - sorry but this means you did commit fraud as you did not declare the money available to you from the time it was in the executor's account.

Sali, I hasten to add this is well over 15 years ago, however you're right to assume that I never did get any feedback. Being told "I'm not allowed to call an ambulance, they have to be seen by a dr..." by someone in charge of someone else's care scared me, as I said, it still does.

 

However, I'm happy to say that in the many dealings that I've had with them since I've never had such a cause for concern. My role doesn't carry any more influence, it's just a job, albeit a very rewarding one 99.9999% of the time even though it's getting more and more challenging.

I never had any instructions from my nursing home manager not to call an ambulance if needed, and I worked in a couple of places - but then again, I wouldn't have paid any attention anyway. Pretty worrying if the residential side had those types of instructions.

That does seem to put the flies at a bit of a disadvantage!

That's the idea! I'm somewhat insect and arachnid phobic.

White vinegar - lots of cleaning uses, particularly for cleaning the fridge, or a couple of capfuls on a boil wash in the washing machine.

Buy bulk spices, coconut oil, bulk rice, various other bulk foods from indian food shops - much cheaper.

cheap hairspray to deal with flying insects - spray them, they stop flying then hit them with a slipper.

Obvious incorrect advice posts should surely be challenged - in my knowledge area I'm happy to correct or even be corrected if I'm not up to date on something.

Regarding political debate - I enjoy debate BUT there are people who post who have no idea how to debate, they just want to ram their views home and will belittle other posters, engage in personal attacks along the way. They don't explain or back up their points. I'm curious and interested in how people who have views different to mine come to hold those views and what sources they use etc.

But this is not how debate happens on the forum.

I have no issues with cameras in public spaces just in bedrooms.

No, I wasn't a care home manager, I was the nurse night manager responsible for staff and care on night shift. I like the idea of 'not for profit', but as many homes are private, it would decrease the incentive to own or build homes and I can't see the current government picking up the slack.

To improve care a combination of better staffing levels, better training, better shift management and care policies and better wages. No sadly compassion can't be trained, but I think having care staff involved in decision making, understanding why things are done are certain way and learning the history of their clients, meeting family members etc. all does help.

I think you you should watch Question time and News night.

the number of viewer's watching these programmes have halved due to bias.

true, I stopped watching due to right wing bias.

Is it possible the banks make a profit from the money being in neither the pyer or payee's accounts for several days?

So true. The money disappears from the account of the person paying the cheque, but doesn't get to the payee's account for days. Since transfers aren't physical any more, and funds don't need to be ring fenced anymore, why such an antiquated 'system'? I get peeved by the amount of time allowed for debit card payments to be presented by the business to the bank - I've been caught out a couple of times by ring fenced money in my account then being released back to my account (without my realising it) only to then have money go out days, weeks, or one time several months later. It's the digital age - banks really need to keep up!

I don't think this charge will make much difference. A small number of people who like to moneysave will ensure they bring their own bags, but many will just pay.

I'd rather there was just no plastic bags provided at all. Have fabric bags for sale at the till at whatever they cost. People would soon be bringing their own bags.

If the issue is you feel you don't want to give her Mum money that she is spending on herself (and not your daughter) : Don't give her Mum the money then.

 

Spend the money on your daughter (emotionally your daughter, even if not biologically your daughter), if need be by opening a joint bank account that you pay in to and that needs both yours and her mother's signature for withdrawals.

Clothes? Holidays? : withdraw money for that.

 

Tell your daughter : "I don't care who your biological parent is, I'll always be your Dad"

If you want to insist on a paternity test and are worried about the legal consequences of not being her biological father : why not tell her "I want to get the test done for those legal reasons, if it turns out I'm not your biological Dad, how would you feel about me adopting you, to avoid those legal pitfalls"

 

At present, unless you are careful to offer her that reassurance, there is the risk it will look like you are punishing her for an indiscretion of her mother 13/14 years ago. (If you had broken up at the time : was it that great an indiscretion?)

 

It might have been better to address this earlier, when she was younger. What effect do you think you asking for a paternity test will have on her?

Agree, and also from what you've said, eskimoman, it almost sounds like you're punishing her for her behaviour as well - she's playing up and you then want to confirm if she's really yours. I'd have been devastated as a kid. You're not just withdrawing money from the mum, you're withdrawing money, and probably by her perception, love too from Rebecca. You say she's no different from your real daughter, but evidently she is.

This whole blood is thicker than water stuff is rubbish. My view from what you've written is that you don't want to support the girl any more, either financially or emotionally, and if that's the case why not just say so? If you don't feel you're lying to us about this, then you may well be lying to yourself about your motives.

You can leave your money to who you like - blood means nothing. You can choose to financially support a child you love regardless of being a father.

Think carefully before you make your next move, you could permanently destroy your relationship with Rebecca, and cause trauma to her at a difficult time in a girl's life. Poor kid must feel like you're rejecting her, or saying that she's only worth something if she has your blood - another way of saying that you don't value her for herself.

I am asking - What is there to discuss ??

Corbyn puts his views forward - I don't want trident, I won't press the button, and explains why.

People who disagree say what they believe - I want Trident, it's important to be there with finger on the button when needed and why.

The public listen and decide who they think makes the best points and whether they want someone who'll press the button, or someone who won't, and how important it is to them when stacked up against pros and cons of other candidates.

That's what there is to discuss.

You're not getting it. Opinions matter not, Corbyn has said "he will not press the button under any circumstances" so what is there to discuss ???

Er, he states his opinion, others state theirs, public then decide who to support - what's difficult to understand about that?

You could pay for a private consultation and report from your consultant and set specific parameters for the report. You could request through the GP to see a behavioural psychologist who would be able to give you very relevant information, and may also be able to assist with behaviour change.

If you pay for a consultation and/or report there is no guarantee of a favourable report or outcome, even if you can afford a report in the first place.

I think we all know what a discussion is. But you can't have a discussion with someone who has already made up his mind and in this case no one will make him change his mind.

 

I also appreciate someone who speaks their mind, but you can't say firmly and that is your standing on one thing and then say your are going to discuss it. He has never once said he is open to persuasion, so what is the point of a discussion.

If you believe that the only point of a discussion is to convince people partaking in the discussion that they are wrong, then you have a very narrow view. Political debates often take place between people of set opinions, and the purpose is to allow the public, the viewers to decide which of the presented opinions they believe. Corbyn's 'discussion' doesn't have to be about whether his opinion can or can't be changed.

a discussion can be had in order to help others make a decision as to which side they support - people discussing the pros and cons of each side can be informing and help an individual develop an informed opinion on the matter. This is what Corbyn wants, and I'm sure people who hold a differing opinion.

My view is that Trident is expensive - very, very expensive, and we're a small country who can ill afford it. We're part of Nato and are protected by the many, many nuclear weapons that the U.S. have. Money used for Trident could be better used. It seems we have it so we can belong to an elite club, which is a bad reason.

Once the first nuclear weapon is used, it's bound to be followed by more - regardless of what the UK decided, if the French and U.S. disagreed, they would likely act unilaterally anyway. The world be a pretty crappy place after nuclear weapons are used, there would never be just one or two.

I appreciate a politician who states what he believes rather than the majority opinion of a poll or focus group, even if I disagree with their opinion. I'm fed up of sanitised, spun, political bullc**p that has become the norm.

Umm, constantly switched on body-cams. The footage I've seen from body-cams is often so jerky it would be hard (for me, anyway) to watch for more than 5 minutes without feeling nauseous. Also, there may be aspects of their care that a patient/resident (or their relatives) may not wish to be filmed and how would that be solved and what would happen if it were not respected? Some residents may not wish to be filmed at all.

The article was talking about permanently on cameras in all bedrooms - my suggestion of body cams is because with cameras in rooms, resident privacy is completely removed. Many residents in care homes are not completely dependent, particularly where there are mental health issues, but will not have decision making power over their care, and may be overridden - their personal lives then either get filmed or they have to alter their behaviour. I've worked in a few homes, and there is plenty going on in the resident's lives that they would prefer not to be filmed. Body cams at least ensures that the only time filming occurs is during staff interaction with the resident - which is the bit that needs to be monitored.

No as academically she is scraping by, its more behavioural and social issues which school put down to 'teenage behaviour' but this has been the case form birth

Then you need to see a consultant who can state categorically what behaviours can be attributed to her conditions, then get the school to state what behaviours she demonstrates and needs intervention with at school.

yes, i am also sure that there are many excellent medics out there, but just like blue whales, i know they exist - i've seen pictures and there's a skeleton of one in the natural history museum....i've just never encountered one in its natural environment. Yet.

I am unaware of how a PPG operates, Nolegion. Do the GPs attend the meeting, or are the views of the members (who I assume must be their patients) presented to them later in writing? On the subject of recording consultations, why is it that you have to wait for them to come up with a policy, when it is perfectly legal in the UK for a patient to record their consultation overtly or covertly? Is this policy just about how they will make the patients aware of their rights?

 

And what will you do if you do not like the policy they come up with? What clout do you have to change it? Are timescales involved and enforced?

 

****

 

I don't think anyone would argue that a vulnerable person's privacy and dignity isn't important, but the risks have to be balanced. A person's consent (on camera installation) should always be sought where possible.

 

I cannot see body-cams in a hospital or care home setting working. The police body-cams are (currently, I believe) only switched on at certain times - when it is suspected by the officer such evidence may be useful, but that's not a foolproof system. Constant surveillance (on body-cams) in a care home or hospital setting would, I feel, be open to abuse and how would you go about seeking permission on each occasion?

 

When would the footage be reviewed? Only when a resident/patient/family member raises concerns? Constantly, like at Bramley Court? How long would the data be held? Who would have access to it?

 

A covert camera (installed in the room) would pick up most forms of abuse (including neglect, poor care and some psychological abuse) and will often be a last resort. It will be seen as a lack of trust in the care home's management to address issues and conerns, but I cannot think of an occasion when a relative would do this unless they absolutely believed it was in the best interests of their loved-one.

If I were to design the bodycam system for care homes, I would have them always on and controllable/reviewable by an outside firm (as in the article) so that there can be no interference by the home themselves. It should be easier and cheaper to review the cams of the 12 staff on duty than the (for example) 36 bedrooms plus 4 lounges and assorted bathrooms. The main effect would be preventative - an always on bodycam which you have no access to is going to be a serious discouragement to any abuse in the first place, rather than only reviewing when abuse is suspected. It also targets the perpetrators rather than the victims, and ensures resident privacy is preserved as much as possible.

Child DLA is really difficult to get, and often needs someone with good experience of child DLA to help. Evidence from the school is also very important in child claims.

What sort of evidence do you have? School? Doctors? Other professionals?

also I'm not clear on what the current award is, can you clarify please.

Rich44, starting tomorrow at 9am you and your wife need to make a nuisance of yourselves. Phone regarding the tax credits first, as this is the simplest to sort out. The adviser on the phone should be able to fix the mistake there and then if you or your wife explains it to them.

Then call ESA. The person on the phone knows very little, they are basically a glorified 'call handler'. If you struggle on the phone, you can give permission for your wife to talk on your behalf and then pass the phone over. You need to explain the situation and request an urgent callback from the supervisor of the decision maker responsible for your claim. Explain that the decision maker has had many opportunities to call back and hasn't and now you want to speak to the supervisor. Request that you get an urgent callback, and ask what the time limit is for receiving the callback - a normal callback is 4 hours, so urgent should be one or two hours. Ask for the name of the call handler for your MP who will be requesting an investigation If they haven't called by the end of the period indicated, then call them back immediately, and this time request to speak to the supervisor of the call handler, explain the situation and again that you need a callback from the supervisor of the decision maker urgently. Take the name of anyone you speak to and note the time. Keep records of your calls, and tell anyone you speak to that your MP is now involved. You keep calling till you get a response. Each time you can ask that your wife speak for you if need be.

Whichever phone number you give them, keep it free as if the callback comes while you're on the phone, they usually won't leave a message.

As to what might be causing it - when were you awarded support group?

On ESA (income based only) you are eligible for mortgage support after 13 weeks regardless of assessment rate or group you are placed in. In practice the MI support claim can take longer than 13 weeks depending on backlog and on how soon you get the MI support form in. Yes, you will only be eligible while deemed unfit for work - though you should still receive it during an appeal if receiving esa, though not while undergoing mandatory reconsideration (though a switch to JSA for that period will mean MI help should continue.

Sorry do you mean after you are kicked off the mortgage support you need to wait 13 weeks before reapplying (or 39 next year), or that it takes 13 weeks before they pay it from application (obviously if accepted)?

Yes, as you have a more than 12 week break in claim, you will need to serve the waiting period - had you gone straight on to income based esa, there would have been no waiting period, and no limit to time you could claim (unlike with jsa).

Husband surprised me by getting up to help me out into the garden at 3am to see the end of the eclipse (I can't get out of house on my own). It was nice and rusty looking. Lovely clear sky with pretty stars and husband trying to remember constellations. Was fun.