just an update our child was discharged from CAMHS without diagnosis or explanation and still has no diagnosis she still continues to experience problems social services was happy with our parenting in the end and signed us off their books all I can say us that kids with special needs get a raw deal and the parents get fingers pointed at them for all the effort and unenecesary fighting they have to do...good luck any if you that need statements or diagnosis for your child...you'll need it with this farce of a system

Depending where you want things to end up I would weigh up if it's even worth involving anybody but the school , and that's if you feel the school would support what you suspect, when we asked for "help" lol...local SS felt they couldn't do anything to support us, so Camhs decided to go outside our town to SS as I think they mat have had the same response if they went to our local SS. They have even said about the age gap between Mu wife and myself, which is 9 years incidentally, lots of irrelevant information to make a loving family look like perverts or villains. They explained so many of my manorisms in the report to make it seem like I was trying to hide something, but the simple fact is, I don't want them poking their nose into my families life, in fact most of what they described us classic aspergers traits, since I found out I may have aspergers I have been researching it, to understand myself a bit more. I feel we have been failed not only as a family that needed some support, but as a citizen of this country...when will people realise sometimes things are just black and White...why try to fabricate shades of grey, me & my wife feel so let down.

Well Camhs was a mistake, they told lies, made stuff up even, SS CP came out, did core assessment, report was sent to us almost a month late from completion, lots of lies, and I mean big fat lies with no evidence to back anything up. They even be suggestive implying that my wife is a baby machine, and basically label the kids by bullying health professionals to diagnose them with a disorder that they dint have...also saying they think my wife is pregnant with our fifth child...all of this is absolute rubbish, my wife has had implants in her arm for over two years...we have no intention of having any more children. How can SS be allowed to lie as they have...being in the position they are in...I am currently seeking legal advice over defamation of character, I may even see if I am able to initiate proceedings regarding human rights laws too. The only humorous part about it all is that, it said in the report how suspicious u was of their involvement, and they would have to work with my wife and myself to fix that...yeah right they can shove it!!!!! Thanks for the great advice though!!

Just an update, we did continue to be cooperative with CAMHS I think they suspect some kind of abuse because social services are visiting us today, if they try to blame her condition, which has been gone undiagnosed for near on 6 years on my wife or myself, I will have lost all faith in the health services and professionals...I have nothing to be afraid of I know, neither has my wife...but for some reason I can't but help feeling very intimidated by the visit, and am concerned that any lack of eye contact, or fidgeting when I feel upset, or distressed may look like an guilty body language...I can understand that if there was any cause for concern that they would need to visit us. Some good news though she has got into a special school which we are so pleased with...will post more soon Thank you so much for the replies (0:

Thanks for the comments, I have read Bookworms post and relate to alot of what was said, I went to the GP today to explain I myself, am having alot of difficulty dealing with where we are right now with B, and the breakdown in communications with CAMHS. My GP is going to see if he could speed up the appointment with the Aspergers specialist, to see if I could get a diagnosis sooner, and I also explained that my views, and interpretation seems to get in the way, and hinder the progress with CAMHS as i think it does. I seem to take things quite personally, and have difficulty getting my point across, I believe myself to be quite capable when speaking, but find it difficult to talk to strangers, it puts me very much so out of my comfort zone, I am aware everybody has a comfort zone, and has to put themselves out of it sometimes, but i find it particulary hard to do so. But I think we will try again with CAMHS, I did mention to my GP a bit of support foe me maybe talking to CAMHS would help, like maybe an advocate, but he says it's important for me to get a diagnosis and wants to help. I have experience with C over the last 4 years or so with his difficulties, and do understand the statement process, quite well, but seem to have trouble distinguishing where CAMHS are going with the recent sessions, I have read alot about Autism, but not specifically about Aspergers, or ADHD ect. I will definitely take a look at the books Bookworm suggested, I am very grateful for the help/advice given so far, but I do think my own problems seem to be getting in the way of things.

This is quite a long story but I'll keep it as short as I can, and fill in any details if requested...to put it simply I am at the end of my tether...and will refer to children as A being the eldest at 10 yr s, and male, B being 8yrs female, C being 6 yr s and male, and D being 20 months and male if he needs to be referred to. At the age of 3 yr s B had an unexplained febrile convulsion, several in fact, one of which lasted more than 15 minutes, everything was checked out and was fine, an unexplained virus was apparently the cause of a rapid temperature, we were concerned, but the health professionals reassured us that B would be fine. We took their word for this, and carried on as usual. But we did notice B's behaviour had changed from being a placid child, who plays well with others, to a child who hated any kind of physical contact, who also got very frustrated, had regular meltdowns, was violent to her siblings, and was quite domineering when it came to games, or if things were not going her way. We obviously knew there was a problem, and contacted our health visitor, GP ect., the EP saw her at pre-school a few times to see her, but we were told on numerous occasions that she was fine, and had no significant problems. Things got worse, her behaviour got more an more extreme over the next year or so before she went to reception at the primary school, we chose especially because of their good track record with parent school relationships. B gradually got worse throughout her time there in the infant part of the school, the teachers (all except one) seemed to be losing their patience with her, and got a bit over physical with her on a couple of occasions, we were trying to be as co-operative as we could, sometimes I would be called up to 4 times a day to come into school, and watch her being disciplined from one teacher to the next, for her behaviour. Things got even worse when she started to repeatedly leave school grounds, because how upset she was getting, we were told she wasn't leaving school property, but when a friend who worked at the school told us in confidence, that B was halfway to the corner shop which was 1/4 mile from the school, we started getting really concerned. We confronted the school, who hadn't informed us B was leaving school grounds, they claimed there was no such incident, this is when my wife and myself decided we were not being told the truth, the last incident at that school was when B tried to cross the main road outside the school, and a teacher accidentally injured herself trying to stop a car running her down, we decided she wouldn't go back until B's safety was guaranteed at her time at school, the school never replied to the two identical letters I took them in person, also communication broke down with the school, and we felt we couldn't trust them any more in regards to honest behavioural feedback. My wife and myself decided to take a gamble, this was the last resort, to change schools, we didn't know what we would do if this didn't work, as we were so upset, that she had gone almost 4 years with no real support from the school she was at, they couldn't control her, her self esteem had dropped to an all time low...she was saying that she wanted to kill herself and the violence with her siblings, had got to an extreme level. We did change schools finally, as there was no talk of a SEN statement, even though my wife and myself were trying to convince them all that time at the school. We decided to change the school of B's siblings too, as it meant logistically it was an obvious choice, I will just mention that, C has a Full SEN statement, and A was supposedly displaying "Autistic tendencies" at the old school. The new school they all attend has been great, admittedly there were some misunderstandings with the provisions on C's statement when he first started but, they really made an effort to make up for it, they have done so well with C, and he seems to be enjoying school, A was originally on school action plus, then the new school decided that his progress was so good at the new school, he is off that now, and does very well, also having a lot more friends, and his attitude, and mood has raised also, he's quite upbeat when he comes home from school now. But B is still having problems, the school B is at now fully supported her assessment for statement, and she has been given 18 + 5 hours, which the school say is nowhere near enough, but it's a start...she has this reviewed I have been told today, next week with the EP. Now we get to the really upsetting bit, which I don't know where to turn, I have not been given the official diagnosis yet, but was told by my GP that a specialist thinks I have Asbergers, I won;t go into too much detail about this, but I’m just waiting for an official diagnosis at the moment, and find all this fighting really hard...we use to use smacking as a last resort punishment, up until we realised it did nothing to help, we stopped smacking some time ago, although a lot of people disagree with this, we used to find it much easier to quickly stop B's behaviour, we feel it did nothing to help, and hence the reason we don't know, we all know there is a line you never cross, with physical punishment, and have been brought up well enough to know what that is. We have been seeing CAMHS with B for sometime now, about a year I think...we wanted a diagnosis of her behavioural disorder, if thats what it is, so we could understand it more, and do the right thing by B...since we have been seeing CAMHS all they have done is play into B's hands by, what we think is spoon-feeding her questions and possible answers, they have told us today, that we once had a social worker round, to asses our household, this was to do with B having an off day at the old school and telling them she was being hit, I presume it was the smacking. My wife was the usual one they wanted to see, but I’m starting to build up a better picture in regards to what is starting to manifest itself, they were questioning my wife, about the times we used to smack, she got quite upset and emotional when they asked her about it, asking if I was violent with her, and how often I used to smack, ect. We think we are going to lose my daughter, she likes to play the "Mummy and Daddy hits me" game, she smirked as she said that in the last session my wife went to, and feel she thinks there is some great place where she will be able to do as she pleases, but I’m scared she's on the way to getting taken from us. I fully support the school she is at now, they have so much patience, and empathy for her problems, I have been known to go to the school to help with her behaviour on numerous occasions, and even participated in lessons with her when called, as she didn't want to join in with her TA. I feel I have lost the battle, all the teachers are very supportive, and have done nothing but help so far, and we are very grateful they have given so much time and dedication to her, and to C which they have helped a great deal. The final straw was to call CAMHS today, and say, that we don't need another appointment,, as it's too upsetting for us all, the school have asked us not to bring B back to school after the sessions, as she's too disruptive, and violent afterwards, and they don't want her to be excluded. I am starting to resent the fact B says all these things to CAMHS during these sessions, and why can't they see we only want help for her, why can't they see between the lines, B finds it highly amusing, as she does when she accused her TA of assaulting her the other day. What can I do? it's been 5 years so far since problems began to show, myself and my wife feel we have no fight left, and quite often feel if we really didn't care, or brought her behaviour to anybodies attention, that this would have been dealt with years ago, B can barely read, or write, and we also fear for her siblings safety too, she has to be constantly supervised, every minute she is at school or at home with us, she has been found trying to strangle my son C, he is always the soft target because of his ASD. Please give me some advice, we are startig to feel she is slipping away from us thank you

I've held off for a bit with the letter, i have read your pm and have sent you one also, there is details of what the trader emailed back to me through ebays emails system too. Basically he just said he didn't realise that those problems existed apart from what he told me (the steering wheel) thats all Best regards Rod

the water seemed to have stopped since the rear sunroof fix, i'm more concerned at this stage with the hole in the boot space, and the cost of repair, obviously i have met him half way by getting the rear sunroof repaired, what i would like is for him to contribute to getting the hole fixed in the rear floor. I can't weld or i probably would have done it myself, but obviously this needs attention before it rots anymore of the floor. I would be grateful of any help heliosuk please do send me details, and points to seal to stop this being an ongoing problem

ok will do, but i don't want the guy saying that i contacted him and that i was ok about the problems or anything, i would rather send the letter, as then i have all proof of correspondence. thankyou for your prompt reply Rod

I have drafted this letter ready to send tomorrow to the guy, does this letter sound ok, and does it need any amending? Thanks for the advice so far, i'm very grateful Rod

Hi i bought a car on the 18th of January, from a trade seller advertising on ebay's classified ads. The seller is about 70 miles away from me, so as i didn't want the car to go i put a deposit on it, and judging by the description thought i had a great deal. When i got somebody to take me to view the vehicle (brother in law), i looked around it, and it seemed fine, tidy and in good condition, as i talked to the seller he mentioned that the only thing wrong with it was there was a bit of a gouge in the steering where the previous owner had one of those disabled wheels on it, which i accepted. i asked him if there was anything else wrong with it and he said that there wasn't, i then drove the car home, and was quite pleased with it, until a few days later when i noticed all the head lining was wet, after it had rained. As this is our only vehicle and i need it so i can drive my disabled son to school, i had to repair this, ( it was the rear sunroof leaking bad), i have other children and have to run them to school also. After a few days everything seemed fine, then i noticed that the carpets in the front passenger side and drivers side were wet, i undid the trim holding the capets in place, and took these up to see what the problem was, and noticed that over time the sunroof leaking had made the foam underlay sodden, and it was staying wet in the footwell...it had started to rust but not bad. Getting paranoid at this stage i did this in the back load space and it was the same, but it had quite a bit of rust, and a nice 1 1/2 inch rust hole in the boot floor. Also since owning the car the passenger side front dooor has stopped opening from inside and outside unless someone holds the lock catch while it's been opened from the outside. I have contacted consumer direct and they gave me some tips as what to put in a letter to him, i paid him the £200 despout through paypal, but paypal say they can't do anything because the goods were not delivered??? I would like to get the repairs done to the car but don't think i should have to, as it's quite clear these were present quite some time before i purchased it. I paid £3200 for the car, £200 desposit, and £3000 by bankers draft I will put the description on here: hope somebody can advise me, i would be just happy with a partial refund/compensation so i can get it repaired, it's too far to take it back and leave it to get it repaired by him, and i would also need somebody to take me back home, could i get a local firm to do the repairs, and bill him for them? Thanks and hope you can help Rod

I called a DCA because the other DCA could not come up with a CCA so was passed to west midland debt collection, on the phone after answering some security questions, i asked them what right they had to collect money from me when the previous DCA could not come up with a CCA, they said that they had, i replied that it wasn't a CCA it was simply an application for credit, she tried to convince me that it was a CCA. When she couldn't get anywhere she asked if i would hold to ask someone something, i was on hold for about 5 minutes, she then came back on the phone and started asking me sytematic questions, she said "remember when you applied for the card...then you used the card...then you had a statement..." at that point i said "i'll stop you there, i am not getting into this further on the phone, all contact should be made in writing from now on" i also went on to explain to her that her company was trying to collect the money illegally and that it shouldn't have been passed on to them. I also went on to explain to her that the other company Clarity was breaking government legislation by passing it on, she didn't seem to concerned, so i asked her why her company had no regard for law and government legilslation, she couldn't answer me that. A few days later i had a card through the door, it said that one of their representitives would call between 9am and 5pm and that i had to call if this was inconvienient, i called them again, to tell them they had no right to send anybody to my property, and that i had revoked the general license for them to visit me on my property, and that they would either be asked to leave as they were trespassing, and if they didn't leave i would call the police to remove them. They played the same trick, asked me to hold, for the same length of time, then asked me questions about use of the card, same again "when you applied for the card...when you used the card to purchase things..." i told them the same as last time i would not get into it on the phone and said again that all communication needs to be made in writing from now on. this is a joke why don't these companies follow the law, after all thats what it's there for surely, i don't get how they think they have the right to act beyond the law Cheers Rod

My daughter has some behaviour problems, and learning disabilities, and has been on school action plus for a couple of years now, in the last two terms the behavioural team have been giving my daughter some support, which has made some improvements. the last time we had a meeting to discuss progress, the behavioural team mentioned that her needs are long term in their opinion, and that she would benefit from an statement, and that they think that there would be enough evidence for this when she gets assessed. I wrote a letter (the second one in 18 months) to reqeust that she has an assessment, the school replied saying that they would start the process, but the behavioural team are worried as they are leaving the school in May and they told us today that the assessment is in June, and that if my Daughter was assessed earlier that it would make a great deal of difference if they were still at her school. we are really worried, as this is the second time we have asked for this, and the EP thought she was fine and that she was doing well. I don't even think it even got to the assessment stage, i have this feeling we had been fobbed off the first time. I just want to know where i go from here, as if she doesn't get this statement they can up or l;ower the support she needs as they see fit, they won't be obligated to provide any support if they don't want to. My daughter really does have some problems with co-ordination, anger, and very low self esteem, she cannnot read at all, she is 7 years old, she can not even write her name in full. we are at our wits end, and are not sure which direction to go in next. any help or advice from the forum would be great. ATB R

I used this calculator Javascript APR Calculator - Equal instalments and it came up with this intrest rate 32.9 can somebody check this for me to be sure many thanks

Hi I am new to the forum, i have been reading it for months but this is my first post. I recently sent a CCA request to red castle DCA and i was sent this by choice, and red castle i was wondering if it was enforceable or not, i have had some success with sending CCA requests with quite a few not being able to produce the copy, i have attatched the one i got from choice it's identical to the red castle one even the original letter. sorry i have no scanner so had to take a photo as much advice as possible would be great Thanks http://i101.photobucket.com/albums/m49/evilstoat/choicecopycca.jpg