HA! Well, congratulations on being the first to respond exactly as I thought some might. Obviously another one with poor critical thinking abilities. No-one so far has actually addressed the points in my OP, so well done. I am unsure how you can draw the conclusion that I am 'trying to control the situation from 6,000 miles away' on the basis of me twice making a remark about some slight forward planning by making a rough inventory and getting info on a funeral plan. The first time (well before the present PoA) was deliberately in front of his wife in case he blew his top (which he predictably did) and she ticked him off, later apologising for his obduracy. The last time was a gentle remark last week with the same result. No-one seems to have read the part about his impulsiveness and lack of self-control when faces wit anything new. As to your remark about 'leaving him to do all the 'grunt work' - well that is just facile and the result of no thought whatsoever.. I have been abroad for 15 years and he knows very well that I will be back within 24 hours when I get a call to say she has died or it is imminent. You should be ashamed of yourself for saying as daft as that. Did you even think before you typed? I am concerned about his threat (made many times) to throw everything out as soon as our mother has died, and not fulfil his duties as a joint executor. No=-one has responded to how that might be obviated. As to not posting enough detail in the OP, a summary is quite common - no-one ever gives chapter and verse in an OP. It would be far too long for anyone to bother reading, so be self-defeating. In fact what happened was that UB (if I can be familiar) read far too much into the post from his own imaginings - a lot of what he said can only be based on what he THOUGHT I wrote, and not what I actually wrote. Now then, I don't have time to mess about with people who can't actually get the meaning from a post and have injected their own imaginings, nor can I be bothered to get into a troll-fest so admin, please, can you delete this thread?

That's a shame. I had thought probably not, but it was worth a shot. I am sure I will find something somewhere. I'm aware of the paperwork surrounding PoA. My mother signed one 25 years ago in 1992, as I said in my OP, and my brother has been helping her since then. Now that she can no longer sign cheques (due to bad trembling, not true mental incapacity) and has some confusion due to forgetfulness, she has asked that the PoA be activated. I have had the required letter with form EP1PG stating that this is being done, and also saying that letters being sent to my eldest son and his eldest son. I was informed by my mother that she was going to do this (activate the PoA) when I was in the UK 3 weeks ago for her 99th birthday. Yes, and that is what it is - your imagination. I didn’t ‘ask him to start to deal with other aspects’ as you say – I made a suggestion as I had once before the previous year. You actually have no knowledge of me, my brother, the family other than what you have imagined or attempted to deduce from the little bit of information I have provided.. As I said above, he has been doing this since 1992 on and off, and more so in recent years, so it is nothing new to him. The only new thing is to apply to activate the PoA and have the ability to sign cheques. That is all and is hardly onerous. I am not so sure about your assertion that 'MOST people' would not be able to think ahead. They may not WANT to, but that is not the same thing at all. Anyone with some forethought would be able to make a rough inventory of household items and other possessions, although sorting out finances can't be easily done in advance. Saying that, she has very little money to our knowledge so that won’t be hard to do. However, she already has a funeral plan which no-one knows the contents of, and as he will soon have power over her finances and papers, he can soon easily see just what it entails and if all costs will be covered. The father of a friend of mine over here died last October. The funeral eventually cost £4,200 (and that was very basic) but his paid-for-years-previously plan only realised just over £1,500. Luckily, his sister and brother are a dentist and a heart surgeon respectively and they were able to cover the cost until the money had been sorted out. We don’t have spare money like that; we’d have to borrow. As I said above, I am well aware of what a PoA is and what it entails, and also that it ceases to exist at the moment of her death. I also know that at that instant, we both become joint executors of her will, and that is the problem that you also allude to below but did not answer - whether he is capable of fulfilling those duties when she is not about. See also my comment above that it IS perfectly possible to make broad plans if someone wants to. and can do it. My brother is the world's worst planner, lurching from crisis to crisis because of it. That is why I am concerned. I did not make this suggestion willy-nilly. I have a paralegal friend who suggested we start making broad plans and getting our ducks in a row NOW, because many people who don’t end up having long drawn out problems later. I don't like to presume on my friend too much as he is very busy, so I thought I would ask where to get more information from on here. I am also well aware that house clearance people will basically rip you off. The intention is not to use one if at all possible, but to try to get charities and other organisations to collect things if possible. I am well aware that she has a lot of junk which can be binned, but not before a proper check has been made. As above, you IMAGINE again. You don’t KNOW. I have already stated that I made a short remark, nothing more, which caused him to blow up as he always does when confronted with anything new. If you seriously believe that making a short remark in a phone call along the lines that we should start thinking about a rough inventory and finding out the contents of her funeral plan is ‘lecturing’ than you are very much mistaken. I am astonished at your response, to be honest. You do seem to have missed the point that I was asking about in my OP – that I am worried that while I am travelling back after her death, he will just get in a skip, throw everything out without a proper check and inventory and basically do what he always has done for all his life – go off at half-cock and mess things up. I was NOT asking for advice on what you imagine I was asking. I was asking advice as to the most appropriate place to air my concerns and THEN get advice. I’m sorry that I may come over as exasperated (at the very least), but I had expected not to have such judgemental and prescriptive remarks as I have just read in a reply to a request asking if there was a forum for my kind of question.

As I posted. I am not sure if this site is the best place for this sort of thing, but I am hoping to find out more about this so as to try to negate what I strongly suspect will be a contentious time when my mother dies. I live abroad and visited my mother in the UK when she turned 99 last month, as I have done for the last 9 or 10 years. She was pretty healthy last year but has begun to show her great age this year. Although still fairly compos mentis, she has become quite deaf and started to become more forgetful and confused. She can still get about somewhat but is now also very slow and needs help. Due to her confusion, she has invoked a pre-2007 Power of Attorney she made in 1992 so that my younger brother will be taking over her financial affairs, and I have some concerns about that, but I am 6,000 miles away and he is 10 miles from her, so it is reasonable that he takes over - with some scrutiny. However, it is his impulsive and thoughtless nature (and other issues) that he has displayed for years that concerns me and his conduct after she dies. He finds her an irritation and has voiced many times that once she dies, he will just 'go in with a skip and chuck the lot and be done with it'. As we are joint executors, we have a duty to do things properly and realise what we can for her estate (which won't be a lot) but he has refused point blank to make any contingency plans for when she does die, despite me suggesting it a number of times. Nor will he discuss anything and just shuts down, even switching off the phone mid-conversation. He just says 'I'm not doing anything and I'll deal with it all when the time comes'. He forgets there are two of us involved. This is all to do with deliberate stubbornness and not emotion about her impending death (which will be within 18 months, I suspect). As he has said many times, he would like her out of the way as he sees her an encumbrance. I'd like to be able to be prepared for any future problems, so if there is a way of discussing them on here, or a more appropriate site, perhaps other members could point me in the right direction. Thanks for reading.

SUCCESS! Posters elsewhere were right all along and I have now had the court email me as follows - note that they will accept a scanned copy of the SD but I will still post it to them by normal mail. My appointment at the Embassy isn't until 22nd July (my mum's 97th birthday too), but because they'll allow a scanned copy, I'll be within the time limit of 21 days which expires on 29 July. I'll re-write the draft and put it up here if anyone would care to comment. I assume it will be better to use my UK address, so as not to confuse things, or should I use both Thai and UK addresses? I suspect the UK address would be better so the police can at least send the NIP to the proper place this time! I can't fault the help I've had from the court now they know I can do an SD abroad. Really nice gesture, the lady suggesting we can just email to save the costs of phoning. Most places don't often reply to emails - such as my damn bank! Many thanks, yet again, to all. Email from court follows - Good Afternoon As per our telephone conversation. I can confirm that you can make a Statutory declaration the embassy at your convenience as you have stated that the hire company provided the wrong information to the police when they completed the Police Information Notice, therefore you were unaware of the proceedings brought before Gateshead Magistrates on 20th May 2015 (offence date 22.10.14 DVLA offence code MS90). Could I please ask that that you send a copy of completed statutory declaration via scanned means so we can action accordingly within our department. This will ensure that penalty points and financial impositions are removed as soon as possible if the Statutory Declaration is made. If I can be of any further assistance in this matter feel free to contact me via email as I am aware of the high costs you will be incurring whilst calling from Thailand. Regards Lxxxxx Mxxxxxx Administration Officer

Thanks for that, but seeing other posters comments, I have removed point g) because in hindsight I think it's a bit antagonistic and I want this out of my life, not made worse! I can tell them the basics, that I entered Thailand last August 4th, was married on 30th January this year and am staying here whilst looking into a settlement visa for the UK for my wife, so that we can return permanently, but this is a protracted process and things happen slowly here. Also, I have to be very careful with the DVLA because they may well say I am non-resident and grab my licence ... Edit - I have had second thoughts and slightly modified your suggested point g) to the following - g) Each time I have moved my address since 2004, I complied with the requirements to notify DVLA of my address change. Firstly this was with a relative, which subsequently changed. On another change, again I notified the DVLA. My current licence will confirm that fact. It seems that neither the police nor the court checked the details with DVLA, correspondence thus going to the wrong address and hence failing to correspond with me prior to issuing the MS90 conviction.

Someone over here suggested I removed item g) from my draft SD - fair enough. It probably wouldn't go down too well!

Ah, didn't think about private schools - and Unis wil be off by now too. I forget about school hols in the UK because here, schools start in Mid-May and go all the way through until the end of September, no breaks. Then they have October off and start again in November, straight through again without breaks until late Feb. It's a horrendous schedule AND they start at 7.30 am too! However, there are a LOT of days off - about 18 public and religious days off. Lots of Buddhist days, Thai new year in April for 3 days, and normal New Year another 2 or 3 days. King's birthday, Queen's birthday, so there are always some interruptions to the school year. No Christmas though ... Patient? It's driving me nuts!

Thanks for that - good point. I hadn't thought to see if I could pay the original fixed penalty online. I'll call the police fixed penalty unit and see what they say. However, I think they'll just say 'it's with the court and not our job any more' ... And I don't really want to rock the boat, so I think best I keep quiet until they get back to me. I thought schools didn't break up until the end of the month?

Many thanks for the information - sorry for the delay in thanks people. I've been busy trying to sort this thing out. Still no word from the court, despite 3 emails. I was told rather testily by a clerk that the case was 'with legal' who were making 'further enquiries'. I asked with whom and was told the police - probably ticking them off for not checking for any change of address with the DVLA before just bunging the case at the court and costing them a fortune in trace fees. I was just told to wait and they would 'get back' to me - but when? Some good news. The court are wrong about me having to go there to make a Stat Dec. I have enquired at the British Embassy here and I can do it there. Then I can send it in and that should suffice. Anyone have any comment on my wording below? I want it as simple as possible. 1. I am the defendant named above. 2. I now know that the hearing in this case began on or about 22 October 2014. 3. I found out about the case on 8 July 2015 because: a) I received an email on that date from a friend in Wolverhampton who had seen a letter from the DVLA to my UK address, and his email advised me of the letter. b) I made enquires of the DVLA website and was shocked to find that I had been convicted of an MS90 offence – Failure to give information as to identity of driver etc. This was at Gateshead District Magistrates Court on 22 October 2014. (Case number -----------) c) I have never received any correspondence from either Gateshead Magistrates Court or Northumbria Police Fixed Penalties Unit regarding this offence at any time. d) I am in Thailand at the moment and communication is difficult. However, due to the stipulation that I make this declaration with 21 days of discovery of the conviction, I am anxious to resolve this issue quickly. e) Since making telephone and email enquiries both of Gateshead Magistrates court and Northumbria Fixed penalties Unit, I was told that all correspondence was sent to my old Wolverhampton address which I moved from in 2004. f) The address supplied was done so incorrectly due to a clerk at the car hire company referring to records relating to pre-2004. g) No-one at the police or court checked my correct licence details to ensure I had not moved house before issuing the MS90 conviction I'd be interested in your comments, but I think it says all it needs to say. I intend to wait until this Thursday to see if the court get back to me and what they have to say. If it's still not resolved, then I shall book an appointment with the Embassy and do the Stat Dec next week. It will be late, but there is provision for that in the document and anyway, I can email it to the court first, saying it's following in the post. Thanks gents, that was all very helpful.

Hi all I could do with some advice on something a bit complex. I live in Thailand and have done since 1 Nov 2004, and only return to the UK for occasional family visits. I did so last year without my wife, due to a family crisis with one of my children - no time to get a visa for my wife. When I left the UK, I initially had all my driving, bank and insurance details transferred to my brother's address. However, after a serious fall-out with him, I transferred them all to the friend (G) of another friend (B) - we stayed with G and as we were then thinking of moving back to the UK, it seemed sensible to do this. This was in Wolverhampton. A few days ago pal (B) emailed me to say G had received a letter from the DVLA asking for confirmation of my address as I had had court proceedings against me. This was a bit of a shock as I knew nothing of this at all, but a quick look at the DVLA website confirmed that I had indeed been convicted of an MS90 – Failure to provide name of driver at Gateshead Mags Court and been fined £600 + 6 points. I have been in touch with the court and the police unit and they both pretty helpful. The initial offence was that I was flashed in Newcastle upon Tyne doing 41 in a 30 limit on 20 July last year. However, I was in a hire car. The police contacted the hire people who unfortunately gave them my pre-2004 Wolverhampton address before I moved to Thailand. That has caused all sorts of problems. The Northumbria police traffic unit just kept sending letters there and obviously they never heard anything back from me, as I had left the country on 3 August and was back in Thailand the next day. So, they sent the matter to the Regional Traffic Court in Gateshead who eventually issued a summons to my pre-2004 Wolverhampton address. The court would, of course, have heard nothing, so using a bit of brain, unlike the police who really should have done this before going to the court, contacted the DVLA who gave them the proper address on my licence. The court wrote to that address and just Wednesday gone, I received an email from my pal B in Wolves to say that the DVLA wanted to confirm my address due to legal proceedings, as I said. I called the court and explained that I lived in Thailand which, in fact, they had already found out by doing a trace on the HMRC and National Insurance computers – I’d told the tax and other authorities years ago. I asked them all about it, they were very helpful and explained that I’d need to make a Statutory Declaration that I had never received any police or court correspondence. This would reset the case and I could then answer the original alleged offence of speeding. They suggested that I email them with my Thai address and explain that I had been out of the UK at the time of all the correspondence and they’d put the case to a Legal Officer for consideration – consideration of what though? I did this and I’m still waiting for a reply after 2 days. Now then, how on earth do I make an SD? I asked in my email if they would send me any necessary forms but haven’t heard back yet. Further, I have tried Googling for a template without success. I have been advised that if I can get the form, the British Embassy here in Bangkok could probably notarise it for a fee, of course. It’s the Thai equivalent of £55. Can anyone advise me how I go about making this Statutory Declaration? Or should I just wait for the court to get back to me? However, it has also been suggested that the court and police might just drop the whole thing due to the distance involved. Can anyone tell me if I can be prosecuted when I don't live under UK jurisdiction ... I probably can, but it's whether they will. Thanks for reading such a long post!

This may help some people - http://uk.linkedin.com/pub/sara-de-tute/18/697/471 http://www.bcllegal.com/the-brief/a-day-in-the-life-of/the-brief-a-day-in-the-life-of-sara-de-tute-%E2%80%93-legal-compliance-director-at-lowell-group Or just sort them out for yourselves - https://www.google.com/search?q=sara+de+Tute

As you say. Nothing was ever made clear to me, but now it is after I called the Trustees.

Right, thanks all - problem solved. My brother's widow emailed yesterday to say they should be paying out in 1-2 weeks. I live in Thailand, but will be in the UK from 15/7 to 5/8, so she suggested I call the Trustees to provide them with a UK address, which I have done. I asked the chap if it was possible to have a copy of the will or was it a trust, which would be confidential. He informed me that it was a confidential trust, and no copies would be given out, nor any copies of the Letter of Wishes. So that's that - I've learnt something and so, I hope, have others.

Ha! You've never met her, but I've known her 45 years - believe me, she'd hit the roof ...

I think you are probably right! But you don't know my dysfunctional family!